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Today was Ashura Day. What a Sad Day it was for me and for all the Shia’s in the world. You can read about the tragedy of Ashura here, but I am simply going to detail what we did today as a community, and share my emotions and feelings.

The day started off without the normal greeting to my mum - that is there was no Salam Alaikum - neither was there the hug and kiss! Indeed a sad day that began from the night before.

The GraveYard
Went to the graveyard first thing, where we recited, marthia, brieft speech, fatiha, nawha and maatam followed by Ziarat e Ashura. Here, 2 things crossed my mind:

1. Being a winter month, it was pretty cold, so we were all decked up with warm clothing - which is normal. However, I could help but think of the day of Ashura - 3 days of hunger and thirst, and how our beloved Imam Hussein (AS) and his family must be suffering from the heat in the deserts of Kerbala. Imagine, wearing the little armour they had, and having to fight in those conditions? Just look at the sacrifice - I could only think how thankful I should be, we all should be for being able to live so comfortably!
2. I could not help but think how fortunate all the people in the graveyard were in that they were able to obtain Ghusl, and were buried in the Islamic way. Imagine, the way the bodies, and body parts of our beloved Imam Hussain (AS) and his family were scattered in the plains of Kerbala, how they did not get Ghusl, Kaffan or even get burried in the islamic way - these are the same people who brought Islam to us in its purest form and did not even get an islamic burial? I could not help but shed some tears thinking of this!

The Mosque
We left the graveyard and headed for the mosque - for Aamal E Ashura and Salat. After doing so - an intense feeling of love of Imam Hussain (AS) struck me. The fact that he stood up and sacrificed ever single thing he had for the sake of Allah (SWT) - should we not learn from this lesson? Is this not an amazing example of the level to which one should go to for the sake of Allah (SWT). Would it not have been so so easy for Imam to accept Bayyat of Yazid? But, no he was strong and sacrificed everything!

This was followed by Salat - here I could not help but picture myself standing behind imam - visualising Imam Hussain (AS) leading his final prayer. This again made me feel so sad - and reminded of how we shoulda lways pray. "Pray your salat like its your last salat" I do think of many times when I pray, but I dont think it is as intensely and seriously as I should. I do take it for granted that I will get another prayer - but the truth is I do not know this - and the assumption Imake is truly flawed. Inshallah, I intend on intesifying this feeling - and praying all my prayers from now on thinking of it being my last payer. May Allah (SWT) help me achieve this!

The Juloos

The juloos was great and the turn out was was also good. We did not have any Alams and things that day - but we did have recitation in english particularly geared towards the outside comunity - the one we are trying to spread the message of Imam Al Hussain (AS) to. This I thought was good. We also had several banners, again all in English so atleast they can be read and understood.

Most were dressed in black - A symbol of sadness and grief - indeed.

We did not have any violence - rude comments or anything - or atleast I did not hear of anything. We peacefully spoke to people on the streets, gave them leaflets, and spent some time with them explaining the whole proccesion and the reason for it. I think it was taken on board very well. There is question on whether the processions are useful and whether they are serving the intended purpose - but that is a discussion for another post.

There was no maatam during the procession - although there were people doing it slowly. I do think there is no real point in doing maatam in these processions as it gives a very strange picture to people who do not understand the significance of it. However, this again, is something I will pick up later and discuss when I get a chance.

We returned, thanking the police who arranged everything for us interms of traffic control, and providing us with the safety with which we were able to do this. Inshallah, may Allah (SWT) reward them.

The Mosque

We returned to the mosque, for the majalis. Indeed, all was over by now - our Imam Hussain (AS) were anhilated on the plains of Kerbala - we all cried, and cried and cried. It was indeed so so sad. I cannot put into words the feelings and shivers that went through me at this time. "Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Illaihi Rajiun"

We then had food - so I helped served the dar, rice, roti, bread sherbat etc….which was in itself a satisfying experience. A thought that crossed my mind everytime I served something was..the fact that our Imam and family were hungry and thirsty for 3 full days. I almost felt guilty for serving - let alone when I sat down to eat.

Anyways, soon after, it was time for Maghrib - and here again, I could not help but think that Iama Hussain (AS) did not make this prayer - I have yet another chance to pray to my Allah (SWT) - so I tried to make most of it.

After Salah, there was Shaame Ghariba lecture - which detailed the brutal torment that the ladies of islam went through after Imam’s passing. What was worng with these oppressors? did they not have any sense of humanity in them? Obviously not. I can only pray to Allah (SWT) to curse them….."Allahumma Lan Qatalata Husayn Alayhis Salam"

This finished, leaving me feeling so sad indeed, a feeling of emptiness inside me. I returned home and my mum was so tired, so I tended to her, put her to bed.

I cannot help but think - I have been through this day, expereinced the grief, and tomorrow I will be back to work, trying to move on with life….slowly and steadily the grif will decrease and fade away until next year. I have decided to do the following to ensure that this does not happen:

1. Continue to recite Ziarat E Ashura
2. Label all my water sources with "Remember Ashura!" so that I can be reminded of this day and the fact that water is indeed such a precious gift from Allah (SWT). Slowly, I hope that this will become secon nature to me and I will not need any reminders!
3. Interms of moving closer to Allah (SWT), remember, that any sacrifice I make in this world, is nothing compared to that made by Imam Hussain.
4. ….I shall add to this list when I get a chance….

Now, I sit here, thinking of going to bed, but again, I cannot help but think I will get in my warm bed, be comfortable hoping for a decent night sleep - but still thinking deeply of the state in which Imams family was on this night. With no shelter, with their hijab’s stripped…Oh My Allah (SWT)….the worst things are yet to follow…..im sorry….but I cant stop this feeling going through my mind - its to the extent where I feel I dont deserve a good night sleep. I am very sad ..and so what….!

I would like to end this praying to my Allah (SWT) to continue to drop his CURSE on the killers of Imam Hussein (AS) and his family, companions and friends. May such a tragedy NEVER fall on anyone.